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eellasllij
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Name: Jill
Country: United States
State: Oklahoma
Metro: Tulsa
Birthday: 12/6/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Many o' things. I love to be with friends. I love to eat. I love to go to the theater. I love to dance, oh how I love to dance - all kinds of dancing - Only Baptists don't dance (so don't tell my father). I love the television. Well, not actually the television but watching the television. America's Next Top Model is actually my favorite right now. I am interested in anything that occurs on my campus. GO BRONCHOS! Hooray for UCO. And my heavenly father. I am very interested in him.
Expertise: I like to consider myself a professional in the area of napping. Thats right, sleeping. I am a pro... I can sleep anytime anywhere. (as long as I have my teddy bear)
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  JLLLo4
Yahoo:  jill_sallee
Member Since:
10/21/2004
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| Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday Dear Grandma Shirley!
Happy Birthday to You!
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| Colossians 1:9
“For this reason, since
the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and
asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all
spiritual wisdom and understanding.”
In this passage Paul is
praying that the people would have a desire for the knowledge of God's
will. I know that I mentioned Francis Chan in my last post, but I do
not feel that I fully covered it. After reading this passage Francis
humbly admitted that even he questions his own commitment to Christ's
authority. His next question was “Do you really want to know God's
will? Even Today, Tonight, and Tomorrow. I think that the room fell
silent because possibly 24,000 of the 24,000 people in attendance began
to question.
I answered yes. Sure I want to know what God has
planned for me. When will I graduate? When will I get married? Will I
find a good job? Will I be happy? Where should I go to church? Will I
live in Oklahoma? Will I live in the United States? I am willing to say
that I will do anything for the Lord -- but when? I realized, how can
God trust me with my life in 5 years if I am not willing to give him
what I have at this moment? Did I ever really let him have complete
control?
Does he have control of what I watch on the Television?
The publications I read? The time I wake up in the morning? My attitude
when I am stuck in traffic on Broadway? The words I say or even think
at that moment that I stub my toe? The money I spend?
No. No.
No. No. No. and No. It is a hard realization when all of me means ALL
of me and that all I have ever been to Him was Lukewarm.
But here is the good news,
Revelation 3:21
To
him who overcomes [being lukewarm], I will give the right to sit with
me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his
throne.
I had never read John's description of heaven in
Chapter 4. It includes Rubies, Diamonds, Thunder, Lighting, Fire,
creatures, and 10000000 angles worshiping Him on the throne and crying
Holy, Holy, Holy.
They are worshiping him on the very throne
that him who overcomes gets to sit. Why in the world would anyone NOT
want to sit on that throne? This is when I realized that WHATEVER it
means...I've got to sit on that throne.
That I may become the one that overcomes so that I will sit on the throne of Christ for season eternity.
That I may trust a God that loved me first.
That I may behave as one who is truly committed as a believer.
That I may not be lukewarm and spit from the mouth of the Most High.
That WHATEVER it means I have got to sit on that throne.
Immediately
following this life changing revelation my head was filled with
humility, praise, astonishment, fear, questioning, and the PEACE.
What
would it mean if I truly surrendered it all? Would I stay committed and
involved in the things I was now? Would I hang out with the same
people? Would I still feel safe in my cushy seemingly perfect life?
I still don't know the answers, but WHATEVER.
Whatever it takes, I have got to sit on that throne. | | |
| Chapter One.
So I have procrastinating writing about how Passion
changed my life because I do not know how to use just 26 letters to
glorify my God and praise him for the things he is doing in my life.
And I figure, if it is too long then no one will read it. So here is a
shot at one of the things God revealed to me.
It all starts
night before passion when I was talking to my mom about her new view on
faith and this thing she calls progressive revelationism. Its good,
just wait and she will write a book about it. It will change your life.
That and her new approach to reading the bible. Now to passion.
In
the beginning I went to passion because of a boy. Lame, I know but God had a plan. It also put me in the
most ideal situation, away from my home church, because I was alone a
lot. I did not have a ton of friends to talk to so I could rely only on
God.
If you have never heard of a man named Francis Chan then
you should. If I ever get the chance to meet him I would pick apart his
brain and ask him to testify about the things God has shown him. I
truly believe he was anointed on Tuesday night to deliver a message
that would rock the world. I realized that I was Laodicea. Not cold by
any means but still very far from hot. On this night for the first time
I was able to give my life to him without holding on to anything. I
decided I would be one that overcomes and gets to sit on the throne of
heaven next my God and that is the ONLY thing that matters. That
whatever it means I have got to sit on that throne. The only way to
overcome lukewarm is to behave as a committed believer and truly be in
love with him.
I know that this all sounds good but it is the
next part that will change my life. I am so tired of experiencing the
emotions of faith. Loving Him then letting Him down and feeling like
you have lost Him. I heard it repeatedly at the conference to not let
this passion 'high' fade away. Feeling the love is easy when you are
praising His name with 24,000 believers with incredible musicians and
speakers. In the past I have counted on experiences like these to show
me the love of Jesus and to express my love for him. I realized that if
I am going to love him passionately then I need to know more about him.
I could go from conference to conference and read book after book but,
how better to learn about him that to read the Words of his very heart.
How could I miss such a simple concept?
Psalm 119:89
Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.
Isaiah 40:8
The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.
Matthew 5:18
I
tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest
letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from
the Law until everything is accomplished.
I may not always
have the opportunity to hear from an anointed speaker but I will have
the word. For so long it has been sitting on my shelf full of God's
love and I have been missing it. It was always such a struggle for me
to read my bible. You see, it is not always easy to find life
application in bible verses. It was something I constantly struggled
with I would read chapters in the old and new testament and still had
no clear idea of the message I needed to hear. Always asking God what I
should do or how I should worship him. Now I realize that it is and
always has been about him. Praise the Lord that every verse in that
book reveals something else about God! If my purpose on this earth is
to love Him and to know Him then I must read His word to love him and
know him. Once I know more about Him I will know more about what He
would have me do, say, act, and believe. It really is life changing.
John 1:1
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
I have had God so close to me in so many different translations, yet still I looked so hard for him.
As I reread this I feel like I have failed to do Him justice.
My prayer now is that I will passionately seek not only Him, but His word.
Stay tuned for Chapters 2,3, and 4. | | |
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Thing I am currently excited about: (in
no particular order)
My new Katie Melua and Jamie
Cullum CD. They are toe tapping good.
My New Years Eve date! He's a
hunk.
Killing the boys in Spades again
and again and again.
Feeling good and not like well
rested good but like I could conquer the world good.
Filling out my new planner for
2007! I never said I was cool.
Reading The Scarlet Thread.
Francie Rivers you are my hero.
Doing that thing that we talked
about last night that is very hush
hush.
Having dinner
with my best friend and her fiance tonight because I have yet to
dote on her ring.
Hearing my
littles voice! Happy Birthday Stephanie's mom!
PASSION! I am
ready for the Lord to move in a way that is inconceivable.
Things that I am
currently not excited about:
Money. This
is the first Christmas break that I have not had a job.
Laundry. Even
when it is free I somehow put it off until I have nothing to wear.
Doctors. I
have one more appointment and it don't want to go.
Nine days.
The break will be over and I must go back to my fast paced life in
Edmond.
80 to 100.
That is ounces of water a day. Its impossible I tell you.
ImPoSsIbLe!
Shoes. Not in
general. I actually love shoes, but I left this one pair I really
need in Edmond.
Treadmill. I
have not lost the pageant pounds yet and I have less than a month
now.
Curiosity.
Sometimes it is good, but this time it is a bad thing. I must be
stopped.
Responsibility.
I don't want it anymore.
Driving. I
am a horrible road tripper and Atlanta is not close.
| | |
| The last 4 nights I have not been able to sleep. It is not the I had caffeine after 4pm kind of can't sleep or the I slept in past noon kind of can't sleep. My
mind is racing racing racing about a million and ten things and I
cannot seem to make a coherent thought about a single one of them.
Tonight I am too afraid to lay down for the fear of being overcome by
my own thoughts. I
hear that this kind of thing happens after a stay in the hospital. I
did sleep for 72 straight hours minus the times that it took the nurses
to check my vitals. Could my body be over rested? Me? Over rested?
Never. I
just think and ponder and question about my life. Where I have come
from and where I am going? Things I have done and things I will be
doing in 10 years, 5 year, heck even next semester. Decisions - hard decisions that I will make. Life. Love. Family. School. Friends. Time. Career. What motivates me? Drives me? Defines me? Am I on the path of the person I want to be? I am exhausted just thinking about thinking about it. I must go to sleep or Santa Clause won't come and give me my calendar and panties. Here is to being asleep by 3! | | |
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